7 signs that someone is passive-aggressive

A passive-aggressive person may behave angrily and manipulatively—without showing it directly.
Instead, they may use glances, total silence, and sarcastic comments—but if you’ve never met a passive-aggressive person, it can be difficult to spot the warning signs.
Here are seven signs to watch out for.

People who have difficulty putting their feelings into words can easily resort to passive-aggressive behavior, and instead of saying what they really feel, they express their feelings in an indirect way.

For example, when you ask if you’ve done something wrong, the answer is often, “I’m not mad,” or “It’s nothing.”

“Passive-aggressive behavior is often learned during childhood and can be traced back to the behavior of one’s parents or other relatives,” psychologist Carla Marie Manly tells Insider.

Here are some examples that may be good to keep in mind.

Starting to ignore

A common sign of passive-aggressive behavior is when a person starts to ignore and stop communicating. Psychologist Carl Marie Manly explains to Insider that this is one of the most “toxic” forms of passive-aggressive behavior.

It is also something that very often leads to divorce in relationships, she further explains.

Telling someone that you need space to think and sort out your feelings is one thing, but refusing to engage without explanation can be hurtful to the other person.

Another common example is throwing around sarcastic comments.

For example, rather than saying, “It really bothered me that you didn’t remember my birthday,” they might say, “Thanks so much for my awesome birthday present,” Carla Marie Manly tells the news site.

Making up false excuses

According to behavioral scientist Joshua Klapow, passive-aggressive behavior often stems from low self-esteem and a fear of conflict. When a person expresses themselves sarcastically, it is a way of conveying frustration, anger, or disappointment without being confronted.

Other signs, according to both Manly and Klapow, include pretending to agree with something and then complaining about the same thing. Passive-aggressive people also tend to deflect their own guilt rather than take responsibility for their own mistakes.

Making up false excuses to avoid doing a task, or secretly trying to destroy a relationship, project, or a person’s reputation are also considered signs of passive-aggressive behavior.

According to Joshua Klapow, the seventh sign is deliberately failing at a task because you don’t want to do it. The person doesn’t say no directly, but they also don’t do what is asked of them.