Short fuse? How to get better at managing anger

Some people are calm as a cucumber at all times, others lose their cool at the slightest setback. Here, the experts explain how to lengthen your fuse and better manage your anger.

An angry mood can have many different causes. The vast majority of people don’t react aggressively on purpose, it just happens.

In some cases, it’s as simple as being hungry, having a hormonal imbalance or being stressed for various reasons.

In other cases, it’s a learned behavior, inherited from a parent, for example. Psychotherapist Dee Johnson says that anger is often a way of channeling other emotions that are harder to express – such as fear, anxiety, pain and shame.

Can you get better at managing your mood?

When faced with adversity or provocation, it is often easier to resort to anger and over time it risks becoming normalized – although this is rarely the healthiest way to deal with emotions. It’s also not much fun for those around you.

But as with so many things, practice makes perfect. Once we learn to react with anger, we can also learn to react differently.

Below, the experts explain what you can do, both in the short and long term.

1. In the short term

It’s easier said than done, but in the moment, it’s important to focus on how your body reacts when you get angry.

– Try to catch yourself in the moment and take a deep breath. If you can step away from the situation that’s making you angry and, for example, go for a walk or count down from a hundred, do it,” psychotherapist Lucy Beresford told Metro UK.

The important thing is to shift your focus away from the situation that has upset you. Try to relax and let the tension in your body drain away. Think about your breathing and try to regain control of your body.

2. In the long term

Getting to the bottom of the problem requires more time and work. Beresford recommends therapy to really understand what’s at the root of the anger – whether it’s an inherited defense mechanism or a way to express other, deeper emotions.

CBT is also a good option for finding healthier and more productive ways to deal with adversity.

– Noting when you lose your temper and thinking about how you could have handled the situation less aggressively can be very helpful. “Evaluation is an important part of learning and change,” says Johnson.

Relaxation exercises and some lifestyle changes can also have great value for your overall mental health. Prioritize sleep, a balanced diet and physical activity as much as possible. And keep an eye on your stress levels.